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那些支离破碎的老照片(八)

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发表于 2016-12-5 21:09:43 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

很多人觉得,不就是开荒时候情绪失控喷人了么,整出这么大一出真矫情。可事实,并非如此简单。很多时候往往仅从一个角度去看待人、事,确实可以窥见冰山一角,而若对事,要纵观全局,就需要站在更高的立场去审视;若是对人,则要用心眼去观察,才能所见非虚。

之前提到如花以前有抑郁症,这是枫颜偷偷告诉我的。她看到我和如花走得很近,就特别告诉我这件事,我知道她希望我不要伤害如花。当时她知道的是如花或许已经愈合了。而我所见到的,却并不是这样。每个人在遭受心灵创伤之后,对于那些致使他受伤的事物、景致都会有潜意识的抗拒。我所见到的如花,是深深包裹在温暖表象之后的孤独灵魂。至于为什么,这里涉及到太过深入的隐私,所以不再表述。

正因为这样,我希望我能真正的让如花变得温暖起来。这导致我和如花的关系十分亲密,甚至在很多人看来已经超越了朋友的界限。而我又眼界甚高,毕业之后也有过几段缠绵的温柔故事,最终因为忙于事业忽视了自己的个人问题孤身至今。这无疑,是各种流言蜚语的温床,现实生活中已经让我司空见惯。而之所以提起这些,是因为这些说者无心的话,在我终于鼓起勇气去抚平那晚给如花带来的创伤时,让一切彻底变成了不可能。
............................................................................................................................................................................................................

那晚我和龙珠在铁炉堡后山一直待到了黎明,龙珠很贴心,一句话不说,静静的待在旁边。这种时候,有这么一个人的陪伴是非常幸运了。既然是自己的过失,就得自己弥补,哪怕是最终我失败了,至少我倾尽全力了。所以当天晚上,我到了足球队的YY。第一次和他们看似非常轻松的攀谈,对于职场打滚多年的我来说,逢场应喝再熟悉不过了,不过就是找找共同的话题,既然喜欢聊女人,那么我也可以低俗到让我自己恶心。

当晚的各种聊天很富有戏剧性,我和如花就如同调换了一个位置一般,他成了那个沉默不语的冷场王子。我在和左后卫他们漫不经心的攀谈中故意旁敲侧击让他们鼓动如花开始交谈,因为我深知,言语,也可以是最佳的疗伤圣药。只要如花放开攀谈,大家都是爷们儿,没有什么过不去的梁子。只要他能开心起来,哪怕我今后得“做牛做马”也无所谓。毕竟始作俑者是我。但是我没有想到的是。如花开口的第一句话,直接让我惊呆当场哑口无言。

并不是因为他说了什么恶毒的言语。而是他突然沙哑的嗓音和略显结巴才说完的那句话,语气中毫无活力和自信。这让我十分震惊。我瞬间没有了和左后卫他们攀谈的兴趣。只剩下心疼。气氛被我给炒热之后,他们准备去通灵。我注意到如花对我并没有产生任何排斥,所以应承下来,但是这一次通灵很乏味。打完之后时间也不早了,他们相继离开休息了,YY里最后只剩下了我和如花,枫颜下线之前特地密语我让我把握好机会。不然她也生气了。

再次把角色停放到了铁炉堡大门的悬崖边上。Dshelly在铁炉堡大门骑着大马蹦来蹦去,我没理他。队伍里只剩下我和如花。良久的沉默。

【队伍】Rohua:恭喜

【队伍】Imagoodguy:谢谢

我知道他是指那颗恢复宝石,眼前的雪花都突然变得活跃起来!

【队伍】Imagoodguy:那个,那天晚上真的对不起。我情绪失控了。没考虑到你的感受。

【队伍】Rohua:没事。

我注意到小地图上他也在铁炉堡大门。转身寻找,发现他在上坡那条路边的小山丘上。背对着大门,眺望着卡拉诺斯的方向。背影在月光和纷飞的雪花之下显得非常孤寂。心悸让我找不到合适的言语对答。

良久

【队伍】Rohua:我有抑郁症。

【队伍】Imagoodguy:我知道。

他终于愿意向我朝开心扉了,这是最好的情况了,我暗自松了口气。

他逐渐开始向我述说起了那些让他受伤的往事,零零碎碎,还很凌乱,但是我知道这才是他最为真实的内心,我仔细的听着,暗暗的记着。越听,越让我心惊心疼。期间我得知了他家庭条件不好,原本也是有一个几乎算是金饭碗的工作,可因为潜规则和其他原因失去了工作;原本也有一段美好的爱情,最终淹没在了茫茫人海之中等等等等。越是深入,越是引发我的共鸣和心悸。胸口仿佛压着千斤巨石,周围的一切似乎冰冷凝结。我才发现火热外表之下,是一颗深深冻结在寒霜之内的心灵,突然激发了我最为深沉的怜悯和爱心。

【队伍】Imagoodguy:I'm here,always.

我无法用更生动的言语去表示我的关心,我只能对他说出这句话,表示我将永远支持他,不论对、错。

.......................about 1mins later.........................

【队伍】Rohua:谢谢你,好人。

【队伍】Imagoodguy:也谢谢你的信任。

不过是两个孤独脆弱的灵魂,唯一不同的,是一个懂得用聪明的头脑去编织层层叠叠的坚硬外壳,一个只会本能的寻求生机。在外人看来或许都有些许缺陷,而在我看来,是如此的纯净,没有被任何世俗所浸染,在皓月的柔和光辉之下显得如此动人,弥足珍贵。

【队伍】Rohua:我觉得舒服多了

【队伍】Imagoodguy:所以你可以随时跟我谈心: ),别忘了,im here, always!

【队伍】Rohua:me too.

【队伍】Imagooduy:have a good night! 我先睡了=。=

【队伍】Rohua:好的,明天见 : D


时隔数天之后,我终于又能踏实的安睡。

...........................................................................................................


自那夜的长谈之后,我跟如花的关系更加亲密了。游戏里的任何场合,几乎我两都是同时出现,甚至于厄运东,他也经常跑过来看我怎么折腾小花,我以为一切都已归于平静,逐渐好转,我有信心逐渐让如花找回失去的勇气。除了游戏里的交流,我们也经常QQ中谈论一些生活中的琐事,我鼓励他出去找一份轻松的工作,我告诉他刚开始不用着急,找一份那种非常清闲,有很多时间可以放松自己的工作,然后慢慢适应,再去寻找更有挑战的工作;我得知他也有一个水族箱,所以我们几乎每天谈论养鱼中的各种心得;我们相互约定都要出去锻炼身体,每天还会相互监督锻炼的时间;我每天委婉的跟他讲述我的奋斗史,希望他能从这些廉价鸡汤中获取动力等等等等,很多生活中的小事我都逐渐向他灌输着正能量。因为工作经常面对极大压力,所以我懂得很多排解压力的方式,我希望我的这些心得可以逐渐帮助他重新站起来,真正的去拥抱阳光,去感受生活美好的一面。

....................................................................................................................

可惜,这么多的可惜,为什么就没有不让我惋惜的时刻~~~这时候不知道老秦跟他说了什么,我不知道他跟老秦有多深的私交,但是老秦完全误会了我跟如花亲密关系的原因~~或许老秦的出发点是好的,是关心他,但是老秦你可曾找我了解过真实的情况。。。。。


我跟如花走得非常近,不由得让人不去瞎猜瞎想,再加上我这张破嘴又每天习惯性的对稍微熟悉的人都挂着“亲爱的”“宝贝儿”“心肝儿”等我自认为风情万种的调调,老秦或许是找如花单独谈论了这件事。当有一天我在厄运东刷小花看到如花上线之后。。


你对【Rohua】悄悄的说:HI 亲爱的!你来啦!

【Rohua】悄悄对你说:hi

我很疑惑,难道碰到了什么事情?因为每次打招呼,如果他开心,就会表现的非常激动“hi hi!”“yo yo!”他是个很单纯很容易一眼看出心情好坏的人。

你对【Rohua】悄悄的说:怎么了宝贝儿?好像碰上不开心的事情了,来来来,给爷说道说道 : )

【Rohua】悄悄对你说:你别这样整天腻歪了,真恶心。

我石化当场。什么情况,类似的言论我今天在常林、乌贼、佐佐等人上线的时候说了无数遍,我每天都这样称呼跟我稍微有点交情的人啊。而且他每天上线时候我不都是这么打招呼的么。当他对我说出这句话时候我感觉自己被狠狠扇了一耳光。而且是莫名其妙的一耳光。

脑子抽风了!我也火大了。我自认不是一个喜欢拿自己热脸去贴别人冷屁股的人。

你对【Rohua】悄悄的说:真不好意思,认识这么久才发现我这么恶心,你是不是觉得很蛋疼?

我的言语中不自觉就已经带上了我惯用的尖酸刻薄。

眼前的小花也突然变得让人厌烦。直接炉石回城不刷了。

回城后骑着小马慢吞吞的动作看着就厌烦。满城人都是大马我也决定去买个大马。

骑上大马后站在铁炉堡大门口,进进出出的小号偶尔有人乞讨,都毫不犹豫见者10G 20G甚至50G随心所欲。

仿佛折腾自己的钱就是对如花最泄愤的折磨一般。

最后钱没了,白忙活了几星期。更加不爽。正巧这时候重庆的朋友来电让我去他那儿去喝喜酒。我也准备出去散散心,这个月简直比做一个项目下来还心力憔悴。

你对【Qinwang】悄悄的说:老秦,我要去重庆了。这周活动之后就可能不上了。

【Qinwang】悄悄对你说:怎么了?

你对【Qinwang】悄悄的说:我快喝西北风了!我要去工作!游戏不能当饭吃!

老秦被我莫名其妙的怒火波及

【Qinwang】悄悄对你说:哦,如果是因为其他风言风语的话没必要。你想回来玩了随时回来。

没理他。什么叫“其他风言风语”!愈发火大。


那晚活动如花没有参加。不知道是什么借口。乌贼感受到了我跟如花之间的冷战

【Wuzeijiuhao】悄悄对你说:你跟如花怎么了?

你对【Wuzeijiuhao】悄悄的说:没怎么啊,怎么了?

【Wuzeijiuhao】悄悄对你说:哦?

“哦?”  “哦?”是个什么意思?难不成我还能把他给吃了?

【Dshelly】悄悄对你说:小两口吵架了?

你对【Dshelly】悄悄的说:啥玩意儿?什么小两口?

【Dshelly】悄悄对你说:如花呗,还能有哪支花能被我们的I大牧师看上眼哦

你对【Dshelly】悄悄的说:你胡咧咧什么呢!我说你们今天都抽什么疯?

Dshelly已将你屏蔽

!!!!!!

【佐佐】悄悄对你说:如花怎么没来?是不是你又喷他了?

你对【佐佐】悄悄的说:你给我闭嘴。

【佐佐】悄悄对你说:哦~~我知道了。

你对【佐佐】悄悄的说:你知道什么了?亲爱的?

我心里已经开始盘算怎么恶整这家伙了。

【佐佐】悄悄对你说:咳咳,什么都不知道,要不你告诉我吧!

你对【佐佐】悄悄的说:你今晚洗干净,我让你感受下菊花怎么变成葵花的!让你今后只能喝到葵花茶!

【佐佐】悄悄对你说:...................

老秦在YY用着那种懒洋洋的语气问道

“I牧师,大表哥怎么没来”

妈的,他不来关我屁事!

“我把他杀了炖汤了,还在我的锅里!”语气中已经十足的杀气

“大表哥是我的”Bluefly。

“大表哥是大家的”Nuwang。

这俩搅屎棍!

.........................................................

不可理喻!老夫不跟你们一般见识!

.....................................................


那晚轻松顺利MC之后,转战BWL直接推到奈法面前,约定好第二天奈法。



待续...................



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匿名  发表于 2016-12-6 12:23:10
爱丽的拥抱 发表于 2016-12-6 03:14
兄弟,你这聊天语气确实挺蛋疼的,你不说我这路人都会误会

哈哈,生活需要时刻保持风情万种!
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